Evening Coffee

Thank you to Rae-Anne for this picture
I slept in this morning until 6:30a. Yes, over the course of the last three weeks that is sleeping in. And today I cut-bait and stopped my train at 5 o’clock sharp. Okay maybe it was 5:09, but close enough. My husband was so thrilled that I actually just sat with him on the couch and watched mindless TV for an hour and didn’t even look at my phone once. Seriously, he was tickled pink. Weirdo…
My brain is a wee fried!! 

If we were sitting with each other face to face sharing this cup of coffee, I’m certain you would be offended by the glazed look in my eyes.  I assure you, it’s not you, I just can’t compute today.  Have you ever had one of those days where, try as you might, you just can’t formulate a thought of what you’re doing, or what you need to do next, or -wait, what did she just say…?  Yes, today was one of those days for me. Which is why I knew I needed to just hard-stop at 5. I already had made one tiny error on a project plan, no need to make a big one on a configuration or an accidental Reply to All.  Tiny mistakes make me just as freaked out as any big ones. *sigh* As my mentors keep reminding me, it’s solutions software, we’re not saving lives. 

So I want to know, how does one avoid complete immersion?  I literally don’t know how to do it, it seems. As my therapist keeps insisting, embrace the learning process.  It’s the process that is life. That’s all fine and smelling rosey but really, I need to know this stuff now so I kind of don’t have the luxury of living in the moment or embracing the process. I will reflect and be proud and all of that after I make it though this, how’s that? A-for-effort? Anyone? Humph.  

I rescheduled my creative writing class that started this week too. More, I took a credit from the class to be applied to the amount for when I register for a later scheduled class. Which is better really, this way it forces me to come back to it or else lose those funds. Which I definitely will reschedule, because I was excited to take it and am genuinely bummed I can’t jump into it right now. But I knew I would not be in a position over the next three weeks to dig in and learn and write. My ‘information overload’ tank is full and I still have a ways to go yet. 

What are your obstacles or challenges right now? Are you making lemonade or are you sucking the sour? Just do what you can – all you can – the best you can – and then… fake it until you make it when you absolutely have to. Hollow advice, Amanda..but keep thinking for a fuller glass, would ya?

Now, one more cup while I go off to visit all my WP friends for a bit before I lay me down to sleep. 3am comes fast.


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12 comments

  1. I’m my biggest distraction some times, and my snarly attitude. Once you snap at someone, or worse, your three-year-old granddaughter, you can’t unsnap it. ARRRGH!
    BTW–I’m doing fruit smoothie tonight instead of joe. I’ll grab another cup of joe in the AM.
    Amanda, all we have is the moment. Jesus said, before Abraham was born, I Am! You may not like to hear this, but I agree with your therapist. The only gratifying life is the life lived in and for the moment. That’s all we have. How do you do that? Ahhhaa. What a prompt for a new blog post. Will you collaborate with me on FHG?

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I don’t know. Your comment made me think of it. Let me roll it around in this old brain for a day and I’ll get back to you. I’m thinking it might be fun, and fun for others to read if we took both sides of the issue you brought up about living for the moment, as opposed to the ideas you were writing about. Let me sleep on it. Speaking of sleep . . .

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Glad to hear you moved that writing course off your plate. Was that a BMU course or what? Now that doesn’t mean taking something off your plate to put something else on your plate. Enjoy peering into the porcelain, the china pattern. Can you see your face? Breathe, my friend, breathe.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I it was a Gotham Writers Class online. I still owe you WOT… I’ll see what I can do in the morning because Eric accidentally broke it the other day and I’ve been trying to fix it.

      Like

  3. I feel your pain. I am busy with lots of stuff I don’t want to be busy with right now, necessary but frustrating stuff. Which is keeping me from all the good stuff I’d really like to be spending my time on. I need to just suck it up for a few more weeks and then feel very proud of myself for having stuck in and got through. But right now …. wading through treacle.

    Liked by 1 person

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