Evening Coffee

Fall asleep with a dream, wake up with a purpose. ~said someone else

As I sit here and drink my steaming cup of caffeinated goodness, I am mere feet away from my beckoning bed. Sleep she says. Yes, Lord knows I need it.  Waking up at 3am and working straight through until somewhere between 7p-9p for the past four days is catching up to me, hard. My husband has thrown down the gauntlet and banned me from leaving the bed before 630a tomorrow. My kids have pointedly told me as take my break to drive them to school that they will be prepared when they get home for the short fuze and the crankiness. Nice, huh? Little whallups!  I told my son to take a good look because this, my dear child, is a mere spec compared to your upcoming life in Med school.  Still want to be an Orthopedic surgeon, little man? 3 years and the answer is still an emphatic yes. As awesome as that sounds “my son is going to be a Doctor!”  I honesty think he’s missing/ignoring his true calling. I will nudge and suggest but ultimately he needs to figure it out on his own. Plenty of time yet though. I wonder what he dreams when he goes to sleep each night?

We are making the hard decision to pull my oldest daughter out of traditional public school and homeschool her. Since I work from home now I am blessed by having this option. We’ve been weighing it heavily since January. Not sure if it will happen this month or if we have to wait until January. It needs to happen sooner than later. My bright and sunny star is fading fast in her academic environment and her grades are just a byproduct. 

Work won’t always be like this for me. Ikeep promising  my family that this is just a temporary situation. By the time this is through I may have a portfolio of products I can implement that matches senior level PMs. Which, if I can bring these projects in before the end of the year it means promotion is highly likely.  It will be unheard of but boss man has already said those talks have been had by upper management already. Here’s hoping…we’ll see if I earn my stripes in time. So right now I’m just in a learning curve wormhole that have aggressive deadlines to meet-with a very very challenging client to manage on top. Not an easy combination.  One or two things I could handle with a bit more grace. 5 at once, and I admittedly cry at least once a day…

So now I lay me down to sleep, oh sleep! And I will dream those dreams that don’t involve my day job-even though I do love it. No I will think about the passions I have identified and look through my psyche for more. And wake with a purpose that will guide me.  

Thanks for the cup. And sweet dreams to you!

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4 comments

  1. Oh, my goodness. I can’t imagine. Wait. Yes I can. I’ve been in that swirling drop-dead- deadline-was-yesterday IT world. Sounds as if, though, your managers are investing in and challenging you to test your metal. If I can offer my two cents: Take care of yourself. I have seen burnout swallow up the best IT PM’s before. Be good to Amanda, at least once a day, do something for yourself. Eat a Snickers. Sweet dreams and GET SOME SLEEP!

    Like

  2. Such a gift for the craft of writing. Love this post, love coffee! This one caught my eye as I have just laid down my own daughters for bed and then pondered, is it wise to have an evening coffee?? I’ll probably compromise with myself on Cocoa.

    Liked by 1 person

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