Evening Coffee

Have you ever had that dream where you’re behind the wheel of a racing vehicle and you just – let go of the wheel…and the car coasts along at first, floating in slow motion almost, and then…BAM! It crashes to smitherines into the guardrail to the left?

When stress invades your dreams you know you might have an issue. 

I am feeling very out of control and displaced right now. Nothing in my grasp is firm or steady. It doesn’t feel like that anyway.  It’s not as simple as saying it’s just work-related. That’s some of it, sure, but not all. “Let go and let God!” Well, God still expects you to do something about it, He’s not going to do the living part of life for you. 

We all have those times in life where we have to do inventory on ourselves. What parts of myself and my life do I not like that just need liquidation? What can I do to change those old patterns and behaviors which are holding me back or are keeping me stagnant? Also, what am I doing well? What aspects of myself are positively impacting my life and need to stay put? 

The inventory is not always easy. We may not like what we see when we examine all of the pieces and the parts of ourselves that make up our unique situations. Judging or punishing ourselves for those things we see that we do not like becomes a bit harder. But there’s no need to beat yourself up for what has been, or even for what is; you can’t re-live time already lived. Accept it for what it is, better yet, for what was. Because, while you should accept yourself and all of your faults and flaws, you can still design an effective plan to change those patterns and behaviors that will set you moving forward once again. And don’t forget to celebrate the positive aspects of your inventory too. 

So, with that said it’s time for me to break out my journal and do my own inventory and with it, apply my own advice to what I see. To get control back into my life I need to implement some change, that alone is quite evident. 

I think I’ll brew another cup…



  1. Sounds like you’re starting to take a 4th step to me. I was sorely mistaken about 12 steps for years. I thought once you worked your program, and got to step12, you’d be through. Boy was I fooled! The steps are there for life. I’ve taken lots of inventories in step 4 and again in step 10, which I need often: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
    I’m going to go brew another pot of coffee too.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Amanda,
    I seen you over at Keith’s meet and greet and thought I would give you a visit. I’m glad I did too.
    I’m in recovery and currently working my first 4th step. What you said hit right at home because at first working this step I beat myself up for the stuff God was revealing to me.
    Then later I began to see some good things about me. Now this inventory thing isn’t too bad. lol
    The point is when doing a personal inventory it’s important to keep a healthy balance.
    Please do stop by my blog and let me know what you think.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for coming to see me; I’m headed your way too! I’m so glad you’re in your 4th step, and I’ll say my prayers for you! I never seem to be able to stop beating myself up, as hard as I try. So many demons…we just keep taking one foot in front of the other right?

      Liked by 1 person

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