I’m learning to love myself, and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done... ~lots of people, everywhere in the world.
I heard some great advice recently, “Write a love letter, to yourself.” So armed with pen and paper I set about the task at hand of doing exactly that.
My Dearest Amanda…
What I said to myself is not important, but the message to myself was clear – me and I need some quality time connecting.
When I had exhausted my hand at this letter of love, of course I had some lovely things to say to myself. And I made me smile a few times. But I was left wanting when the letter came to a close. That’s it? That’s all you’ve got? Very sweet but we probably don’t need a second date.
What I was lacking was depth, feeling, a true emotional connection with myself that every real relationship needs. If I can’t have a stimulating conversation with myself, then who am I blathering on with besides? I need to be my own best friend, my confidant, my champion, my hero, my shoulder to cry on… I alone must be those things for myself. Not because I’m lonely or lack these things from others-quite the contrary…but that is not what this is about. And this… is important.
Too often we don’t remember that at the end of every day, it’s our own selves we’re looking at in the mirror. The conversations we have with ourselves throughout the day and as we lie in beds to sleep can’t be just logistics, I have to pick up the kids at 4, get that kid to sports, cooking-what am I cooking?…or chastisement, I should have said this when she said that, I shouldn’t have eaten that pie after dinner…or self-depreciation, I am fat, he doesn’t love me enough, why aren’t I smarter? Why can’t I be more like her?
No – commit that more often that not these conversations should consist of pride, atta-boys, a gentle reminder to be patient with yourself, a compliment-yes I mean compliment yourself to yourself and mean it. Then wear your delight from it in your eyes like glittering jewel that’s just been given to you by your truest and dearest friend, you. Because you is your best friend, you isn’t going anywhere no matter what life throws at you, and you is the one who will be there when no one else is… or even just can’t be the one to make you whole. “You complete me” cannot be truly be complete until two halves are both whole by themselves.
I can attest that this is an enlightening, maybe sometimes difficult learning experience-getting to know yourself and trust yourself completely. For some it’s similar to a blind date with your self and learning about one another’s intimate details. Likes, dislikes, what drives you, what makes you feel good, and can define those old and worn out past hurts that are now ready for the curb to be taken away with the trash.
I love me. You love you. No no- it should be I Looove me and You Looove you.
Try it. Write a love letter to yourself like a best friend writing your whole heart and depth of your feelings of friendship.
Read it like its the first time you’ve read these words from your dearest friend.
I hope you are as enlightens as I was.