Gloomy…

I’m in a gloomy state this Easter Sunday. I’m not really sure where it is all coming from, but I am feeling like such a failure today. 

It’s been a crazy couple of weeks. But in retrospect it seems I’ve been literally chasing my tail…what has been accomplished?  In true fashion of having three kids, the house is only spotless for a second, laundry is never-ending, and I’ve been lax in preparing meals. That goes for both them and me (I eat seperate meals).  And let’s not even talk about Easter candy… and my margarita indulgence.  Food prep has been out the window, I haven’t read, haven’t blogged.  The only thing I have been really good with is my running. In that area I’ve been killing it. But I’m still not getting in the total weekly miles I want to get in. Money. Oh God money management… Other areas I am coming up short are not for this forum, but the crux is – I am not cutting the mustard.  

Now bear in mind these are the standards I set for myself. Mostly.  

I’m so antsy I feel like I’m going to jump out of my skin. It’s that go go go mentality, I guess. I feel guilty if I’m not doing something I’m “supposed” to do. 

Anyone else feel the gloom this week?

Advertisements

15 comments

  1. Won’t be long, did you know that the Spring is known for making people feel this way, but now the days become a little longer in light, the weather starts to pick up and so will you, so, come on dust of those cobwebs and bounce back….take care

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I felt gloomy last week, off and on. I tried to remind myself that despite all of my responsibilities and the high standards I set for myself, I’m allowed to let go of it sometimes, to be a little “lazy.” I think it happens when I try to keep up an exhausting pace and I start to burn out. I think you have to embrace the gloom sometimes, give yourself a break, and know that the feeling will pass.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I am trying to realize that my standards are sometimes too high but in a way I feel like others expect that out of me too… And I try not to get resentful of that on days like this when I really do just need a break. Ah, this shall pass soon I’m sure…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Not long ago, a friend gave me a Mother’s Day card that read something like this: No matter how bad we think we’re screwing our children up, there’s someone who’s screwing it up way worse. 😊 I’m not sure that _exactly_ applies here, but the thought that we are our own harshest critics comes to mind. You are amazing, and that you have high standards for yourself and reflect on what you feel you need to do better speaks volumes about your character. Gloomy’s an OK place to visit and hang for awhile. I know you won’t make it your home. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Wendy, I really needed to hear this tonight. I know I won’t make gloom my home, for sure. Just want to tap back into that high I’ve been on – creatively and productively. It has been making me feel so good and I guess just the lack of either these past couple of weeks makes me feel like I’ve been spinning my wheels and not so great. I’ve got to get much better at the ‘one day at a time’ huh? Xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Wendy! Thank you!! I never thought about mothering that way!! But it is so true!! I do hold to another saying. “No matter how badly your kids think you screwed them up, they will be okay if you tried very hard to do the right thing and gave them lots of love and time together.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I feel for you! I’m prone to weeks of gloom too. I don’t think indulging in gloom is necessarily a bad thing and great that you’re running. Exercise (and writing too) are powerful gloom busters. I also find ‘if in doubt, tidy up’ a practical way of using short bursts of gloom. Longer bouts usually come to an end, sooner or later, when I start to laugh at myself for being gloomy. It bursts the bubble. Someone far wiser than me told me this a long time ago: ask yourself what makes the gloom stop, don’t waste time being a gloom expert.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Great advice! As for the tidying up, that’s part of the issue, as I’ve been spring cleaning and not progressing as fast as I’d like with the schedule I’m keeping these days. I’m sure this shall pass, and I will think about what you’ve said, for sure. I have so many draft blogs I just need to finish and click ‘publish’ lol!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. For me , holidays ( not the seasons ) enhance the “ups and downs” roller coaster of introspective thoughts. If we don’t like something in our current routine , then a holiday might become an impetus to change it.

    Like

  6. Umm, sounds to me like you are kicking us all into the dirt with everything you have on the go. Look back to this time last year. I bet you are way ahead of where you were. Taking time for yourself is not being lazy, it’s self-care. You are awesome, never forget it.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Try not to think about what needs to be done. Instead look at what you have accomplished in the last day, week, year, your life!! It kind of puts things in perspective. (I am retired, but worked full time all of my married life.) I am loving simplifying my life, enjoying my family and friends, new home, two cats, and spring as it unfolds.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s