Self Sabotage

If it’s one thing I’m good at, it’s that I am a master at self sabotage.

I have the debilitating characteristic of derailing any progress I’m making in my life.  Any advancement I am making, no matter how happy it makes me, I find that I inevitably work against myself to knock it back down to the status quo.  The mental acceptance of advancing is just an illusion, so beyond myself that it seems inconceivable.  Therefore, I have to not only revert back to SOP, but make sure I push myself back to the starting line – quickly.

I’ve understood this about myself for a long time.  Hell, I even know that’s what I’m doing when I’m doing it.  It’s like the angel on my shoulder talking in my ear, don’t do it, you shouldn’t!  Look at how well you’re doing!  But I push back, ignoring the little voice and do the things I know will derail the progress I have made.  And of course, the vicious cycle then begins where I beat myself up about it and promise that I won’t do it again…only to of course, do it again on purpose.

I’ve already mentioned before that I am an All or Nothing kind of gal.  I see a big picture, a big finish, and I am there immediately.  There is no such thing as small accomplishments on the road to get me there – I’m right there or I’m nowhere in between.  As an example.  A few years ago I wanted to have a vegetable garden.  I envisioned a beautiful, flourishing garden with raised box planters lined up in the back yard and cobblestone pathways and wrought-iron fences surrounding my colorful bounty.  Bear in mind that, up until that point, I hadn’t even been able to keep a houseplant alive.  Instead of planting a few pots or seeding peat pods to see if I could nurture them to growth first, I was outside building pallet gardens I’d seen on Pinterest and investing a small fortune in vegetable plants.  And they all died and the pallets rotted out.  I haven’t planted a single plant since.  See, I started at the finish line – setting myself up for the failure because I didn’t invest in training myself from Go first.  So I quit.

I have seriously got to get out of my own way. 

I am currently listening to a audio book on self-discipline.  Building habits and techniques to get yourself out of your own way and to overcome those moments when you’re tempted to self sabotage.  I’m also reading a book called The Big Leap, a book a good friend of mine has convinced me I need to read.  I will be writing reviews of books and articles I read that help guide me through this path of self-discovery and in essence, getting out of my own way.  And talk about how I am applying what I learn along the way.  Thank you for stopping by and caring as I grow.

What do you do to overcome self sabotage?  What techniques you have learned in your life and applied to help you get out of your own way?  I’d love to hear…

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10 comments

  1. I think there is one thing that’s lacking and that is a very strong determination. I believe that you will really get your goal if you have it.
    unfortunately, sometimes I do the opposite. I plan to study on Friday to get a perfect score on the test but I ended up watching movies. And when I got my low test results, I ended up blaming my self.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a perfect example of what I do too. You’re right, it’s all about determination and conquering your fears, instead of letting them get the best of you and causing yourself to fail before you’ve tried again…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. There are a great deal of things that come with age and believe me patience and determination are two of them. You simply need to understand that at present you have so much going on in your life that some things have to give until you can afford them the amount of attention they require.
    You will get there but remember you are on the “journey” and it is early days still so regardless of what you want to achieve, think of how far you have come already before you beat yourself up for failing at something you haven’t been able to put the time into.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Definitely good advice and you are right about right now, for sure. I have been doing really well this week, I know. It’s a self issue I recognize in myself and I want to nip it in the butt once and for all. Will determination and motivation. Thank you Cameron, your friendship is so special to me, truly! You’re and inspiration and a comfort! Xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Self – sabotage ! Umm … could probably write a book , make a dissertation , earn a Master’s Degree , teach it at University Level by now …..as it appears I haven’t been doing much anything else all my life 😦 😉
    So , I’m really sorry but I can’t answer any of your questions 🙂 now … if you want a few more techniques to really master self-sabotage 😉
    Turtle Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

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